Think of this as a guide through each of Christopher Walken's films, starting with his first and moving forward. Each review will provide analysis, factoids and opinion on the ninety-plus films in his career.
Walken in Short: He’s the lead, he has a few good speeches, he hams it up and gets to kill a bunch of people who, some of whom possibly deserve it. Not an AMAZING role, but it is rather amazingly bad, which is just as entertaining, just perhaps not in the way that Glickenhaus was intending.
Movie in a Sentence: Bobby McBain (Walken) leads a rag-tag group of middle-aged Vietnam-vets on a mission to avenge the death of their friend Santos (Vennera) and liberate the people of Colombia from the tyrant (Victor Argo) who killed Santos and oppresses the people,
Director: James Glickenhaus
Writer: James Glickenhaus
Duration: one hour and 42 minutes
MPAA Rating: ‘R’ – The death-count is high in this, and the expletives flow like cheap wine. Although there isn’t an equal measure of sexual titillation here, there is a limo full of blade-brandishing, hotpants-wearing prostitute-assassins, and of course the many, many scenes showcasing Maria Conchita Alonso’s petite-but-defiant breasts as they perch erect-nippled and moist behind various cottony tank-tops. So it’s got that going for it. Which is nice.
The Simpsons Connection: Despite predating this film, the TV show THE SIMPSONS was forced to change the name of their Schwarzenegger-spoof character from ‘McBain’ to ‘Rainer Wolfcastle’.
Actors Other Than Walken:
Available to Own: For Americans this is still only available on VHS. but if ‘Region 2’ is an option, you have a DVD and a Blu-ray release to choose from.
Similar Films: The Expendables (2010), Rambo II (1985), Missing in Action (1984), The Dogs of War (1980, this is also a Walken-film)
Walken Content: 70% – There’s a lot of Walken in here, doing some great stuff. He spot-welds a bridge, fights in a cage-match, and destroys a fighter-jet with a pistol, This is basically ‘The A-Team’, and he makes a great Hannibal. Oh, and keep your eyes peeled for his absurdly high-waisted pants that he runs around in. Great stuff!
Walken Quote: Okay, so the team gets together, but they need a whole bunch of cash to finance the mission. After getting some advice from the magnificent Luis Guzman (in possibly the best, and most bizarre scene of the film), they decide to extort it from the mafia. Sporting a fedora and a muddled continental accent, Walken threatens the mob-boss thusly:
“If the 10 million gets there, quick, we’ll leave you alone. If not, you’re going to be going to a lot of funerals, including your own.”
~ McBain (Walken)
Should You Watch? Yes. Let me underline: this is a bad movie. But it is a gloriously bad movie. The direction is ham-fisted, the performances are cheesey, and the script is a half-baked ham and cheese mess of a casserole, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t yummy!
Need further proof? The brilliant people from MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 (now called Rifftrax) have chosen this very movie to ‘riff’ upon. I literally JUST found out about this, so haven’t yet experienced it, but oh yes, it will be mine. And I’ll let you know how that goes when I do. In the meantime, here’s a link to the sample they provide on youtube.
McBain is fertile ground for snarky criticism, I’m sure Rifftrax will have a field-day with this one. Enjoy the bejeebus outta it, however you see it.
I had no idea there was a real ‘McBain’; too cool!
What an awful film. I’m glad I watched it. 🙂
So many of Waken;s movies are described that way
If you like that one, check out ‘The Dogs of War’. Also starring Walken, also mercenary, and also really “good”.
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Walken always wears his pants up to his armpits. Was never sure why lol